I’ve learned in the last few days that it’s easier to get used to a new, smaller, slower place than it is to come back to a familiar, bigger, faster place. Everything I knew about my life here feels overwhelming. Being in a crowded room causes all of my fight or flight instincts to flare up and drive me to find soft, comfortable quiet corners to pause in and catch my breath. The thought of leaving my house is daunting, because I know how much energy would be drained out of my body simply to exist in the world. A very strange switch was flipped in my brain and I just feel... odd. I feel like I don’t have a comfort zone anymore.

I idolize and romanticize a lot of my months abroad, definitely. But I also think about the very real possibilities that exist for me there that don’t exist for me here in LA. The goal for the next few days is to catch up on everything I’m behind on and move forward on any and every possibility I have in front of me to see where it takes me. The fact that I have hope and confidence to pursue my wildest dreams means a lot. I have no boundaries and no limitations.

But trying to adjust to the every day. That’s a challenge. And I suppose the best I can do is take it step by step.